I want to make you feel alive
by CaptainMatick
Summary: Three-Shot Summer AU. Emma Swan expects to spend a good summer before starting a new year at law school. She works as a waitress in a bar near the beach. But she hasn't expected Killian Jones, her best friend's irish cousin, to spend his holidays in the small town she lives in.


_This was gonna be a hell of a summer._

Emma could feel it already. She was gonna relax for two months, before beginning a new year at law school. But if she wanted to afford studying there, she first had to work during the upcoming two months.

But she didn't mind, because despite staying in the same town she walked in all along the year, she couldn't bring herself to feel even slightly annoyed. She had found a pretty nice job. With her best friends, she was gonna be a waitress during her holidays. She had asked her best friend's grand-mother - affectionally called Granny – if she needed some backup, since summer was the most tourist-filled season of the year.

Of course the old woman had accepted her, as well as Emma's other best friend, Mary-Margaret, a little brunette, who kind of looked like a fairy, with her green eyes, black hair and fair skin. Ruby, Granny's grandchild, was possibly the boldest one of the trio. Never missed an occasion to use her charms – she was very much aware that the guys outfaced her entirely as she wore short skirts and tight tops - and she always somehow managed to bring a new guy at home to spend the night with.

Mary-Margaret, however, has been in a relationship for a very long time now, with David Nolan. Both of them were very nice, and Emma knew David since she was no more than 5 years old. He had always been protective over her, like a big brother. Emma loved him as if he was her brother anyway. No matter what kind of trouble she was in, she knew he would come to her rescue. Especially since...

_No. Don't think about that._ She whispered to herself. There was no need to have painful thoughts rushing into her mind when she was about to spend probably the best summer ever.

The pub she was about to work in was one that she knew well, since it was her favorite in town. It was just next to the beach, like 10 feet away from the first grain of sand. And she knew she would never be over the view. Emma had always felt attracted to the sea, so pure and huge and blue, all shining when the sun is up, but also unpredictable and wild.

"The first customers will arrive soon, you better go put your waitress outfit, Em." A male voice cut her out of her reverie. She had been leaning over the fence from the pub terrace, her eyes never blinking as she inhaled the salty scent of the ocean.

That voice was Graham's. He was Ruby's brother, and one of her oldest friends. She had to admit, she had had a crush on him – and she wanted to believe it was reciprocated – something like 8 years ago, when she had first met him. But at the time, she was still raw and flayed from her last relationship – and he was Ruby's brother, which had felt weird to Emma – to think about it a lot.

And the crush had faded into an amazing friendship that she wouldn't trade for anything. "I'm coming." She replied, turning her head toward him. "I was just admiring the view." She smiled at him as she walked toward the staff room, grabbing her bag at the same time.

"You'll have plenty of time to do that every time you'll come to serve the clients." He joked, because he knew they'd all have no time for themselves while on their shift. Emma grinned at his words, and entered the room to dress.

When she came back, there were still no customers. People started to gather on the beach – even this early in the morning, the sun brought enough heat to enable people to enjoy the sand and water -, so they wouldn't be able to rest anytime soon.

Emma caught sight of Mary-Margaret and David, kissing not far from where she was. She smiled to herself. She had always been a fierce supporter of this couple. And she always had a smug grin printed on her face every time she reminded them that she was the one who brought them together by tricking them.

She approached the happy couple, her two friends apparently too lost in each other to notice her. "So," she cleared her throat, "how are you guys doing?"

They shifted, their lips unlocking and David wrapped his arm around the waist of his girlfriend. "Hi Emma! Well, we're fine." Mary-Margaret answered, her cheeks flushed, and David smiled at the blonde.

"Yeah, I can see that." Emma teased, which only make Mary-Margaret's face turn even more red, and David kissed her cheek lovingly. "And David, as a lifeguard, aren't you supposed to actually... be on the beach, keeping an eye on the swimmers?"

"Hmmm," David pouted, "as your big brother, Em, I'm supposed to be spoilsport when your role is to be annoyed by my comments, not the other way around." He retorted, hints of cockiness dripping from his tone. Emma cocked an eyebrow, a smirk playing on her lips. "Alright, alright... I'm going!" And with that, he headed toward the beach, his white shirt and bright red bermuda shorts making him easily recognizable among the crowd.

"Okay everyone, let's open that damn pub!" Granny shouted from the counter, so everybody could hear. Graham went to stand beside his grandmother, and Ruby rubbed her hands together, getting ready to start.

"Girls!" She exclaimed as she approached Emma and the brunette. "This is your first day, so let me give you some advice." She pointed a finger up as she gave her explanations. "Three rules: number one, always put a smile on," she started, "number two: do not pay attention to some remarks you could get from some bitchy guys." And then, she licked her red-painted lips playfully, her grin from ear-to-ear.

Emma could sense what was coming. "And number three?" Mary-Margaret asked, clueless. She really didn't know Ruby very well, Emma chuckled.

"The hot guys are mine to serve." Ruby winked at her best friends, giggling and then heading toward the counter to grab a tray and take the orders of the first customers. Emma shook her head, a smile dancing on her lips.

"Don't worry Ruby, I intend to spend a good summer. Not gonna let some bastard ruin it." Emma whispered, but not quiet enough for Mary-Margaret not to hear.

"Not every guy is gonna be like _him_, you know." She went to rub the blonde's shoulder. After few seconds, she dropped the sentence she had on the tip of her tongue. "Let's take orders. That's what we're paid for right?" Her grin sent warmth into Emma's body, who relaxed slightly.

***

After something like four hours spent walking around, writing orders, then giving them to Graham and finally running back toward the tables, Emma felt utterly spent, and the day wasn't even over. She stole glances at the sea from time to time, and took a second to close her eyes and listen to the sound of the waves crashing on the shore.

"Emma!" She heard Graham call her name, so she stepped toward the counter. "Could you take my place for some time please? There is something I need to do." Emma nodded and took her new place, watching Graham go outside the pub.

She wondered what he was doing. The sunset was beautiful, even from where she was, she had a wonderful view through the window. _Damn_, Granny had really managed to find the most perfect location to set up her pub in. "Emma, we got a lemonade, a coke, and a chocolate ice cream for table number 5, and an 'Irish Encounter' for table 2."

"On it." Emma replied, grabbing a glass and filling it with lemonade. "Do you know where Ruby and Graham are?"

"They're talking to a guy." Emma looked at her suspiciously. "I don't know him. But they seem to, however. Pretty well I'd say. He is sitting table 2." Mary-Margaret said before taking the glasses and leaving Emma along at the counter. The other waitresses came to give her the orders, but every time Emma was alone, she thought about Ruby and Graham talking to this guy. "I thought we were supposed to work." She muttered, and went back to filling glasses.

Time passed – maybe thirty minutes – and Graham came back. "Sorry for leaving you like this. But apparently, you did quite a good job." He smiled at her, genuine and nice, as always. "Thanks, I'll take it in charge from here." He winked at her, and she took her tray to go see the new people sitting at the tables.

When she went outside, the first thing she noticed was a laughter. One she had never heard. So her first instinct was to turn her head toward the origin of that deep, low and transcendent laugh. That's when she saw them.

Ruby and the mysterious guy Mary-Margaret had told her about. Her friend was leaning against the table, a hand under her jaw to support her face as she laughed and smiled. _Was he another guy she wanted to bring back home?_ Probably. The table next to theirs was being filled by new customers, so Emma took the chance to look at the stranger from nearer.

He had dark strands of hair, a lean face, light scruff covering it and his smile... damn it. Well, he was pretty handsome, there was no denying. No wonder why Ruby seemed so interested in him. She wrote what the clients wanted to drink or eat, but kept stealing glances at him unconsciously.

And then she froze. When she brought her eyes back to his face one last time, she noticed he was already peering at her. God, if she hadn't noticed his eyes before, now there was nothing else she could focus on.

_He had the deepest, most oceanic-colored eyes she had encountered._

Unable to handle his gaze, she dropped her eyes and moved toward Graham. "Who is this guy Ruby is talking to?" She urged to ask as she settled the tray on the counter and delivered the paper with the orders.

"Always been curious, uh, Em?" He quipped. Emma only raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for the answer. "His name is Killian Jones. He is our cousin." Graham stated and Emma felt like a weight had left her chest – Ruby couldn't bed her cousin – _wait... what? Why would she care about this guy?_ "He lives in Ireland, but he decided to visit us for the next two months, so we invited him."

"Oh okay." Emma simply replied, her thoughts already drifting back toward the two blue pools this Killian-guy used to stare at her.

_Stop it, Emma, she rationalized._

"Hey Graham", oh there was his voice again, "can I get a beer please?" Killian stepped toward the counter, his eyes on her face, a smirk curving his lips up. "Hey beautiful," he told her, and Emma couldn't help but notice how sexy his Irish accent was, before shaking her head,"the name's Killian Jones."

"Yeah, I already know that." _Shit. Well played Emma, now he knows that you asked about him. _She slapped herself internally, and then regained her composure.

"Oh really?" He inquired, his smirk only widening, just like she dreaded it would. His damn blue eyes were locked in hers and she really had a hard time sustain his stare. That man was not only handsome, but also flirtatious. But Emma did not have time for this, and she knew it. "And you are?" He seemed interested.

"Emma Swan." She answered a bit too quickly to her liking. "I'm a friend of Graham's and Ruby's."

"Ha yes, Ruby has told me about you. A lot." He winked at her. Graham gave him his beer and he started to sip, and came to sit at the stool next to the counter. The blonde frowned at his comment.

It was time for her to go. She did not like the conversation with this guy. She did not like how he was making her feel. Emma Swan did not care about guys – except David and Graham but they were her friends. She was too wary, and he was too flirtatious for them to get along. _Nope._ Definitely not a good idea to stay near from this guy, even though he was her friends' cousin and she would see him around a lot.

So she just ignored his piercing eyes, caught her tray and flew outside. She had to stay away from him and his accent and his annoying everything. Because yes, everything was annoying about him. She barely knew him, had talked for less than a minute to him, but she was already upset and had a strange feeling about this guy. He made her feel _weird_, and she didn't like that. Not when she had planned that her whole summer would be more than great.

"Damn, she is a bloody fury." Killian laughed and Graham couldn't help but mimic him.

"Yeah, that's our Emma. We love her the way she is." Graham said softly, cleaning some glasses and mugs at the same time. "Just, Killian, don't try anything stupid with her. She's been through a lot. And so have you. Neither of you deserves more pain."

"Don't worry buddy. I do love a challenge, but I never pushed myself onto a woman. And the last thing I want to do to her is hurting her." He admitted. He was kind of marveled by that blonde woman he had just met. He felt lighter, more alive, than he had in a very long time. Maybe that's exactly what he needed. Maybe that's why he wanted to visit his cousins and leave Ireland for some time.

"Good." The curly-haired guy replied. "Now, how about you show me and everyone here your talent? It's been a while since I could hear you playing live."

"Sorry, mate, but not tonight. The 9 hours flight drained all my remaining strength away. But tomorrow night, I'm totally in. Just let a small space clear so I can put my stuff and set my stool, and I'll be ready to animate Granny's pub. G'night, pal." He winked at his cousin and jumped on his feet, grabbing his suitcase and climbing the stairs into the guest room, where he would be living for the next two months.

Emma, Mary-Margaret and Ruby joined Graham once the last customers had left. "Where is Killian?" Ruby inquired.

"Probably already asleep. He was exhausted."

"So are we." Emma yawned, covering her mouth with her hand. "I should head back to my apartment, otherwise I won't be able to understand the customers tomorrow." She hugged everyone, changed her clothes, and walked away in the night.

***

Killian always woke up at dawn, his eyes opening with the first ray of light and he stretched himself and then headed toward the ground floor, where the pub was. He was gonna need breakfast, because his belly was already grumbling. He decided to put his bermuda shorts already on, not taking the time to add a shirt – he was lean and muscular, so why bother cover it? - , opting for the perfect surfer outfit.

He'll just have to borrow Graham's surfboard, since his cousin was busy running the pub when he could spend his first day having fun among the waves. He felt a bit guilty, but then he remembered that he would be working as well later on this day. So he just shrugged and stepped toward the counter, where Ruby and Mary-Margaret were already chatting.

"Hey Killian!" The red-dressed girl he hadn't seen for so long rushed toward him and hugged him. "Have you slept well?"

"Like a toddler." He confessed, a smile already printed on his features. He went behind the counter and started to pour himself some coffee in a mug. "And you are Mary-Margaret, aren't you?" He turned his head over his shoulder, toward the little brunette.

"I am." She answered, a soft grin tilting her lips upwards. "How do you know?"

"Not very hard, I'm afraid." He chuckled, bringing the mug to his lips and taking a sip slowly, the dark hot liquid burning his throat in a amazing way, "I met Emma last night, and Ruby only talks about two girl friends, so..." He sat at one of the stools.

"Something is telling me you're gonna surf today." Ruby stated as she wrapped her arms around the neck of her cousin from behind. They've always been very close, and it had been something like 5 years since they had last seen each other. That wasn't surprising to understand why she was so excited to be around him, and apparently, he was as content as Ruby was, because he set his mug on the counter and turn around to return the hug.

"That _something_ is right, wolfie." Killian insisted on her nickname, the one he had given her so many years ago, when she had declared that she'd rather drop school and become a wolf than studying another year. He couldn't stop laughing at her annoyed self at the time, and the memory of this day was still very clear in his head, always making him chuckle a bit when he thought about it.

"Oh shut up, _pirate_." He smacked him playfully on the shoulder.

"What can I say? You, Granny and Graham are my favorite wolf pack haha." He kept teasing her, his tongue wetting his lips and then his teeth chewing on it.

"Care to explain?" The light voice of Mary-Margaret reached their ears and they both turned around to face her, a bright toothy smile lightening their features, a small laughter escaping them as their eyes met again.

"That is a story for another time." Ruby pointed her finger into Killian bare chest. "Don't you dare tell her."

He lifted up his hands in defense. "I wouldn't dare give her those precious informations without your consent, wolfie," he quipped, "especially if I can't see your face while doing so." Another smack at his shoulder pulled a deep laughter out of his throat.

He let his gaze drop toward the exit. Killian first saw a pair of sandals with a few inches-high heels, then when he let his gaze wander along the form, he noticed the long creamy legs, the lean silhouette, the golden hair and eventually arrived at the face, two emerald orbs looking straight at him.

_Emma._

She was wearing her work uniform, which was only enhancing her magnificent curves. _Damn, that woman was a vision_. Not that he would tell her. But he wouldn't deny her beauty, although he guessed a woman like Emma Swan didn't give a shit about words. He would have to give her actions.

_God, what was he thinking?_ He didn't do relationships. He was better on his own. Of course, he was against one-night-stands, but never something with feelings involved. But then again... feelings? He had just met her the night before.

Of course he was intrigued. Emma Swan was a whole mystery and something seemed to pull him toward her, in spite of everything he would attempt to fight this attraction. They had two months ahead of them, and he intended to get to know her better, because there was that little voice in him, that he couldn't shut, that was telling him to do exactly that.

"Hi," she finally broke the silence – how long had they been staring at each other, unaware of Ruby's and the brunette's presences – and put a strand of blond hair back behind her ear.

"Hey Swan." He responded with his strong sleepy accent. She approached the trio and greeted Ruby and Mary-Margaret, never locking her eyes with his, clearly avoiding him. He smiled to himself, he wasn't even surprised. And sometimes, he even noted glimpses directed toward his chest. _Chuckle_.

They seem to have that strange connection, one that couldn't be explained, and it frightened her as much as it made him feel strange. But nonetheless, curious.

A few minutes later, they opened the pub, and Killian slipped outside, Graham's surfboard stuck between his side and his arm. He reached the beach, and noticed a blond lifeguard, who seemed friendly, so he decided to approach him. "Hi mate." He started, hoping to get his attention – the lifeguard was naturally looking at the beach – but the other man didn't respond. However, he nodded, which invited him to continue. "I just wanted to ask you about the waves. Are they good here?"

The blond turn around, but kept looking at the shore from time to time. "You're not from here, aren't you?" He inquired, his face kind and his tone nice.

"I'm not, I just arrived yesterday. I'm staying at my cousins' pub, the one up there." Killian pointed Granny's pub, 'The Wolf Pack' and David raised a brow.

"Really?" The blond laughed quickly, and Killian couldn't help but feel slightly confused at the reaction, "that's where my girlfriend works. Mary-Margaret." David added, a smile brightening his face. Even without seeing her, Killian could tell that this man loved his girlfriend with all his heart.

"Oh, I met her this morning. She's friend with Ruby, my cousin."

"Wait, Ruby and Graham are your cousins? You must be Killian Jones!" David's hand came between then, ready for a handshake, and Killian happily raised his hand toward the other man's.

"Aye, that I am. And you are mate?"

"David Nolan."

"Okay David, then, have a good day, I'm gonna taste these waves, although I highly doubt they are better than in Ireland." Killian teased, a smirk dancing on his lips.

"Well, at least, they're warmer." David joked back, and Killian laughed at the reply. _Well, that's not very difficult_, he thought, but still headed toward the water.

***

Another exhausting day for Emma, but she didn't care. She was surrounded by her friends, she was working next to a beach and a beautiful sea, and she could afford to pay her studies next year. There was nothing more she needed at the time.

_Nope. Nothing._ Everything was perfect.

She let her feet bring her outside, still taking orders as the sun set, being swallowed by the sea. The wind was caressing her face and slightly tangling her hair, and she took a second just to appreciate the view and scent. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" A male voice she could recognize all too well pulled her out of her musing.

She spotted him – that damn Irish guy – alone at a table a few feet away. He had no drink in his hand, so she supposed he had just come back from the beach. He ran a hand in his soaked hair and Emma couldn't help but noticed his wet chest hair covering his muscled torso. When her eyes went back to his head, he was smirking at her. "Enjoying what you see, love?"

"What do you want to drink?" She decided to ignore his comment, and he licked his lips teasingly.

"An Irish Encounter would be nice." Killian proposed and their eyes locked. She felt herself fall, fall into a bottomless pool, so blue, so deep.

Her breath was caught in her throat, but she eventually managed to pull away from his gaze, letting her stare drop to the floor. He felt also slightly embarrassed and she noticed he scratched the behind of his ear, as redness started to spread over his cheeks – really? "Why always so Irish?" She quipped, taking both of them by surprise.

His usual smirk was back, wider than ever, and he didn't have to say any word to understand his quiet and smug answer. So she turned on her heels and headed toward the inside of the pub, and she could feel his piercing gaze on her.

He was so infuriating with his comments, and his smirk, and his damn mouth, and his bright blue eyes, and his scruff, and his everything...! Emma growled. She was so pathetic. But she mentally slapped herself. She was gonna bring herself to hate this man. No other choice. He was dangerous. Her instinct told her so.

When she came back with his drink, she hardened her features and her walls were higher than ever, determined not to let him try anything. He seemed to note the change in her behavior, so he just thanked her for the drink and let her go – well, that was unexpected – and Emma almost felt angry at him for not pushing on her.

She kept avoiding him for some time. He had ordered another cocktail and a Guinness beer, but when she went outside for a last time, she couldn't spot him. His chair was empty. She felt somehow relieved and disappointed at the same time, and it was so not like Emma Swan.

_Because_ _Emma Swan didn't feel relieved, nor disappointed. Because Emma Swan didn't feel, not really._ Emma Swan had those walls around her, and even her closest friends were just at the borderline. They weren't in, not entirely anyway. Something she let glimpses of vulnerability slip when surrounded by Ruby, Mary-Margaret, David or Graham, but she always succeeded in putting her walls back up anytime they came too close.

She heard some agitation inside the pub, but didn't pay too much attention to it, serving new customers. Until she heard it.

_A voice._

_His voice._

He was singing and playing guitar at the same time. Her mouth nearly dropped to the floor, but she managed to keep her composure. She walked back into the pub, and her eyes found him quickly. He was sitting on a stool in a corner, a guitar on his lap, and his hands were moving so fast, Emma was impressed. He wasn't looking at anyone, his eyes closed as he lived the moment, and concentrated. The sound escaping the guitar was pure and Emma felt herself being swung by the rhythm.

It was time for her to take her break, so she sat on the first chair she could find and listened to him, her eyes never blinking as she drank his shape. He felt almost possessed; there was pure happiness on his features. This man was a musician by heart, and music was more than just a passion to him.

And at this exact moment, Emma's mind decided that this man was that bad. It was such an awkward feeling. But seeing him in trance and so joyful while playing music softened her opinion about him. She started to be really curious about him, even though she wasn't ready to let her walls down.

No. She wouldn't invite him at all, but maybe she could be nicer to him. Maybe he was worth it. Maybe he wasn't such a pain in the ass after.

Emma smiled, still watching him and his eyes finally opened. Like drawn toward her, his stare met hers and he couldn't stop the smile that spread all over his face. He lowered his eyes to the chords and then flickered them back toward the blonde beauty who was outfacing him with a heated gaze – and he told himself she probably wasn't aware of how she looked at him.

But she had that strange effect on him. She made his breath catch in his throat, bringing back to live the shy and easily embarrassed teenager he had been so long ago. The person he hadn't been for a few years now. The person he thought was dead and buried 6 feet under the ground.

He played some more, always so devoted to his instrument, looking at her from time to time, until she had to go back to serve the clients. When the show was over, he waited for her to finish her shift , staying by the counter, where Graham was once more cleaning pints and glasses. "So... still as good as you remember?"

"Definitely." Graham didn't have a hard time admitting to his cousin the truth. He had always been his number #1 fan, from the very beginning, when they were no more than 6.

"I'm glad to hear that, I need your full support, and you know that." Killian winked at him before pouring himself a beer.

"Always there for you, Killy." He replied, patting the Irish on the shoulder and offering him a bright smile. It was true, he had always been there for him, despite the distance between them, even in the toughest moments. "By the way, I negotiated with Granny. Tomorrow, Ruby, Mary-Margaret, Emma and myself will have a free afternoon, so we can spend some more time with you. I still have to ask Emma and Mary, but I think you should go surf together."

"Sounds like a plan!" Killian took another sip. He chewed on his lips, sign that he was being nervous. "Do you think I coul-"

"Hey Graham, I'm done cleaning the table!" Emma's voice echoed in his ears and cut him off, turning his head over his shoulder to watch her approach the two cousins. "My shift's over, I better go back home. I'm exhausted."

"Sure." Her friend retorted. "Thanks for cleaning up, you really didn't have to."

"Oh it's nothing. Don't worry about it. Say goodbye to Ruby for me please, and Mary already came back home." Graham nodded, so she smiled softly and grabbed her purse, before heading toward the exit.

"By the way Emma," she turned around, "would you like to go surf tomorrow? On the afternoon."

"Hmmm," She let her gaze up, looking at the ceiling, as she thought about his proposal, before grinning and meeting the two pairs of eyes. "I'd like that." And when she disappeared behind the swinging door, Killian couldn't think about anything else than Emma in a bikini.

***

The morning was nothing interesting; serving clients and taking orders, nothing more. But the afternoon was probably going to be better.

_Emma had never surfed, but how hard could it be?_

She had never taken the time to learn, but now she was ready. She wanted to learn how to dompt the waves with a simple surfboard and share with the surfers this feeling of freedom. David was still working as a lifeguard, but he promised he would join them a bit later, because he had convinced his co-worker to give him a break.

They were five; Ruby, Mary-Margaret, Graham, Killian and Emma. But they had only three surfboards. And Emma would have to go with someone, so she can learn the basics rather quickly. But first, she told her friends to go surf a bit, so they can have some fun before laughing at her with all their heart when she would actually try to stand up on the board.

And of course, Killian was the other one who hadn't taken a board, letting Ruby, Mary-Margaret and Graham have some fun. Emma didn't even know Mary-Margaret could surf. Apparently, David had taught her last summer, and he had thought she was very talented. Of course he would tell her that, since she was the lofe of his life.

"So, Swan... you like the sea don't you?" Killian said, his tone soft and curious.

"What if I do?" Emma replied, a bit more bitter than she had previously wanted.

"You know, most people would take your silence as off-putting but... I love a challenge." He smirked, but their was not only cockiness on his face and in his tone; there was also sincerity and understanding. "You're afraid to talk, to reveal yourself. To trust me." He added, and their eyes locked. Emma felt herself drown once again, so she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

_What was he doing to her?_

Anyway, she didn't want to discuss with him her ability to trust – or in her case, not to trust – people. So she decided to answer his previous question instead. "Sorry..." _Wow_, Emma didn't apologize often. "That was a bit harsh." She bit her bottom lip and looked at him, only to find him eyeing her intensely. "Yes, I do like the sea. It's so calm and infinite and relaxing."

"Aye. I agree." He admitted, sitting next to her on the sand, his torso bare and only wearing his black bermuda shorts. He put his arms on the top of his knees. She could feel he wanted to tell her something – anything – but he was trying to find the right words.

Emma felt uncomfortable at the moment. So she just frowned and brought her gaze back to the sea, watching her friends surfing on the waves. But after some time – they had remained quiet – she spoke, unable to keep out of her mind the question she wanted to ask. "Why did you decide to come here?"

"I wanted to see my cousins." _Lie._ He avoided her eyes, sign that he was ill-at-ease.

"You're a terrible liar." Emma smiled at him, but he still didn't meet her eyes. Instead, he lowered his gaze on his wrist, and Emma managed to discern a form... a tattoo. She narrowed her eyes and concentrated on the ink. There was a red heart, and a name written: Milah. "Who is Milah? On the tattoo."

He hadn't even noticed Emma had seen it. He hid his right forearm with his right palm, his eyes drifting back to the ocean. He chewed a few seconds on his bottom lip. "Someone from a long ago."  
Okay, apparently, he didn't want to discuss about this. "Where is she?" _Damn it Emma, you know what it means. If he doesn't want to tell you something, just don't push. You know you don't like when people tend to be too curious about you._

But she couldn't help it. The words escaped her mouth before she could even swallow them and forget them. Because she had to confess, she was damn curious about this guy. This flirtatious bastard with the cockiness and everything seemed to have walls as high as hers and she wanted to know why. She needed to know why.

_Because maybe that's why she felt this awkward connection toward him._

_Maybe she was not alone anymore._

"She's gone." He muttered in a strangled voice. He then jumped on his feet, hoping she would drop the conversation here. And to his joy, she did. The crease due to the frown on his forehead smoothed and disappear as he saw she was aware she'd gone too far. "It's alright love. I, myself, am quite curious about you." He stated with flirtatious eyes when she went to stand next to him, feet buried under the sand.

"Is that so?" Emma inquired, and no, she did not feel her cheeks go red. _Not at all._

"Hmm," he nodded, "as I said, Swan, you're quite a challenge, but I am proud to say I can read you rather well despite everything. And by everything, I mean those walls of yours." He felt Emma tense, her eyes open and directed toward him, so he stared at her straight in the eyes. "Openbook."

Emma didn't seem really convince. A dark incredulous laughter escaped her; she was mocking him. Nobody was able to read Emma Swan. Her strong walls prevented her to be readable. And she liked it that way. That was not gonna change. "Always so confident, Jones."

"You don't believe me? Okay let's start with -"

"Hey guys! Wanna surf a bit?" Graham had emerged from the shore, all wet and his surfboard under the armpit, already lending it to his cousin.

"Sure, why not? You ready Swan?" Killian took the board and with a gesture of his arm, invited Emma to follow him.

"What? Two on one surfboard? We're gonna drown!" Emma shouted, an accusing look on her face.

"Come on, Swan, I'm sure you're not _that_ heavy!" Killian joked, but Emma didn't laugh. He had started to piss her off a bit by telling her he could read her. God, why was she so moody today? First she was glad to find someone that might be able to understand her, and then, she was angry at him for being actually capable to do so. She shook her head and attempted a smile, before following him, still a bit hesitant. "Come on Swan, it's gonna be fun. And as you've never surfed before, I'll show you."

"How do you even know that?"

"Well, Graham and Ruby, who are your friends and my cousins, have told me." The smile was still curving his mouth up and a wink was sent at her.

"Okay, let's go." She said as he took her hand – no she did not noticed how his thumb started to stroke the back of her palm, nope, definitely nope – and started running toward the sea, water splashing under their weights and when they were wet enough, he helped her get on the surfboard, his hands at the edge of it.

"Just lay down on the board till I'm on it too, otherwise you'll fall into the water." And with that, she did as he said as he climbed onto the board. As he leaned forward in order to put a first knee, Emma felt the surfboard bend on one side, threatening her to lose her balance. Thankfully, he managed to be quick enough but she still ended up in his arms – she had been the one to pull him toward her. "It's about bloody time." He quipped.

She released him immediately and rolled her eyes, but his stare was still on her – she could feel the burn. Find an excuse, Emma, quickly. "You were going to fall overboard, and we would have to begin all over again.

"Hmmm," he licked his front teeth with his tongue, and then pulled his tongue against the inside of his cheek, "that's a plausible excuse for grabbing me, but you know, love, it's only water, and you'd only get wetter." The innuendo was strong in this one. Emma rolled her eyes once more, but a part of her mind couldn't help but laugh quietly at the words.

Anyway, that was the biggest part – not for now. So she just dismissed his sentence. "Let's just get started."

"Okay, well. Lay down, love." He said, cockiness filling his voice. Emma couldn't forget that she was only in her bikini, and she was so close to him she could feel his searing naked skin against her. When she was against the board, he went over her, pressing his body against hers on her right side.

"What the hell are you doing?" She shouted, confused.

He chuckled, his bright teeth showing. "Calm down, lass." _Oh, another pet name_. "We have to lay down so we can paddle with our hands and feet. And the board isn't long enough for me to lay down elsewhere." Haha, how great... Emma wanted to regret her decision to come with him so he could teach her. But she had a hard time trying.

In silence, she followed his movements and started to imitate them. She let him guide them toward the best waves and when they finally had enough speed, he moved from against her and kneeled slowly. Emma turned her head only to see him offering his hand to her, to help her stand. She gladly took it, trembling. "Slowly, Swan. You can do it."

She felt like she was going to fall, but when she managed to kneel, he wrapped one of his arms around her and helped her stand. "Steady." He whispered, his mouth against her ear. "Try to open you legs a little wider, toward the front of the board." His voice was husky and raw – or maybe it was the lapping of the water that made it sound that way, Emma didn't know – and he started to release her, going toward the back of the board so they could cover more space and have a better balance.

Emma had never felt so free, once the shivering and fear of falling was gone. It was such an amazing sensation. She thought she was flying. Killian was behind her, watching her, and he smiled when she did. He was the one driving the board, letting it split the waves, and he laughed when Emma got splashed.

She wiped the water from her eyes and turned her bust around to look at him, a wide genuine and king smile printed on his handsome face.

_Bad idea._

She lost her balance and he just had the time to grab her hand before he was falling too. His grip around her hand and then around her tightened underwater before they began to move their feet to reach the surface.

By the time they were able to breath again, they were panting heavily and both of them couldn't refrain a loud laughter. Emma didn't more away from him. She felt warm and safe – even thought she was drenched from head to toes. And the way he was looking at her made her question her whole I-don't-trust-anyone-except-my-closest-friends thing for her second.

"Stay here, I'm gonna get back the board." He said and then he was gone, and so was his heat. She did as he said and waited for him to return. "Well, that wasn't that bad for a first time, I'll let you know, love."

"Thanks." Emma replied, smiling at him, her teeth against her bottom lip, as she climbed back onto the board. He joined her on it, and then they paddled toward the beach, where their friends were waiting for them.

"That was awesome, Em!" Ruby ran toward her as the blonde reached the beach, and hugged her.

"She is a natural." Killian said and winked at her, the board between his arm and side. Emma looked at him, the grin still on her lips and she lowered her gaze as he smiled at her, a hand wandering through his hair. At least, her cheeks were red but she could say it was because of the surf or the water.

"Indeed she is." Graham replied and grabbed his surfboard, patting his cousin on the shoulder and walking back to Granny's pub. Mary-Margaret hugged Emma as well, complimenting her, and Emma allowed herself to look at the muscular shape of her Irish surf-teacher, just for a second.

***

Killian was playing guitar again that night. And Emma was grateful we wasn't working, because she could finally listened to the whole concert. She was sitting at a big table, enjoying the feast with all of her friends by her side. David had finished his day – he had apologized for not being able to come, but the other lifeguard had had to leave because his little boy was sick – so he joined the others and eat among them.

He was extremely talented, there was no denying. Emma had always loved music, but she hadn't been able to afford going to a lot of concerts, so she was glad there was a free-one playing in front of her, at her working place. And his accented voice was deeper and lower than usual when he was singing.

Occasionally, he stole glances at her, and Emma flushed every time, very aware of his eyes upon her, even when she was talking to someone else. Surrounded by others though, he appeared to feel far less confident, trying not to make direct eye contact with her.

When the concert was over, they cleaned all together the table and the entire pub, before going to back home by their own. When Emma was about to go, she heard a voice calling behind her. "Do you want me to escort you?" She smiled before facing him, an eyebrow raised cockily. "It's dark and... unsafe for a woman like you." He said in voice that was so unlike the Killian Jones she knew.

"A woman like me?"

"Aye..." He started, and he was glad there was enough light for her to see him blush, "a beautiful strong woman."

"If I'm strong, why do you say it's not safe?" She teased, because Killian Jones, the actual Killian Jones, the cocky, the master of innuendos, the confident Irish guy, was acting shy. He scratched his ear, trying to find his words. Emma saw the struggle inside, and her mouth spoke before her brain could compute anything. "Okay."

"Okay?" He seemed confused.

"Okay. You can walk me home." Emma smiled softly.

His face lightened and the mi-smile, mi-smirk was back. He opened the door to her and they started walking into the night. They remained silent for a while, both a bit uncomfortable with the sudden closeness. Not that they hadn't been that close already – she couldn't get rid of the burning feeling from the afternoon – but it somehow felt more awkward now. But she had not clue why, and neither did he.

She heard him gulped hard and he opened his mouth. "So, why does someone like you, Emma Swan, do with her life?" He was watching her instensely and Emma kept her eyes to her feet.

"Shouldn't you guess, since I'm such an openbook to you?" Emma asked, whispering, but never lifting up her gaze.

"Well..." he looked up and then back at her, considering her reply, "Graham told me you wanted to become a lawyer." _Thanks Graham_.

"So you got the answer to your question." Emma was wary, because he was starting to become really close – both physically, now that she thought about it, and mentally. That was going too fast. _She_ was falling too fast toward him. And it was dangerous.

"What I meant was 'are you satisfied with the life you have? Or could a girl like you have other dreams she wants to fulfill?' but I agree, that didn't come out like that in the first place." He paused. "But actually, I think I already know the answer too."

"Is that so?" She didn't want to have this conversation. She tried not to care about what he said, what he implied.

"You're not satisfied. You feel a void in your heart, and it's haunted you your whole life." He stated and she stopped walking, freezing. It was really becoming dangerous.

"That's easy to say I'm an openbook to you if the only you can actually read are things that are pretty obvious to anyone, or things that Graham or Ruby could have told you." God, what was she doing. She was kind of encouraging him pursue, when all she wanted was to run away from him. But, for some reason, she couldn't.

"That void you got, it's because you were abandoned." The last word echoed in Emma's head, who was frozen on her feet. Being crushed by a truck would have probably have the same impact. Her eyes were wide open and tears started to gather in her glassy eyes. She eventually managed to regain her composure, and he went on. "You've felt like an orphan all your life, and it's crushing you from the inside. You think it's unfair you had to suffer so much. That's why you want to be a lawyer. To help want to fight injustice. Because despite everything, you are pure at heart."

She didn't know how to react at his words. On one side she wanted to slap him, to yell at him that he was a bastard, to shout at him to shut the hell up, because his words were breaking her in the inside. Because it was the truth. Because he could really read her like an openbook. She was sure neither Graham nor Ruby would have told him about that, because they knew how hard it was for her to endure.

That's why on the other hand, she wanted to rush toward him and hug him and never let go. Because, as cruel as his words were, he was telling the utter and complete truth. She really was an openbook to him. And he seemed to know how it hurt, so he had complimented her for her choices and her determination.

She was a hell of a challenge. She was closed off. She had walls higher than the Empire State Building. But nonetheless, he was trying to climb them, to get through them, to reach her very core. And she could only see how strong-willed he was, because most people would have already given up on her, and left her behind.

That's why everyone she cared about did, until she met David, and a few years later, Mary-Margaret, Ruby and Graham. But judging by her non-existent love life, she was probably going to end up alone, and it was one of the toughest things to handle.

She swallowed her tears back and look at him. All she could see in his eyes was genuine concern and care. "Emma, I'm so sorry... I shouldn't push so far... I -"

"No, it's alright." She sniffed and wipe her glassy eyes with her arm, before rubbing her temples with her fingers and closing her eyes sharply. "My fault. Shouldn't have ask you those questions." She opened them again and met his oceanic-blue pools again and used her hand to point toward the door in her back. "That's... that's where I live. I'd better go sleep. Thanks for the surf session, and the walk. I see you tomorrow, Jones."

"You're welcome, love. See you tomorrow." Was his simple answer. She could see in his eyes that he still felt guilty for what he said, so she smiled at him, but it faded away as soon as the door was closed.

***

With each passing day, she felt herself becoming closer to Killian, and they avoided topics such as Milah or the orphan thing. She came to serve him often, and sometimes he even helped Graham at the counter, pouring drinks into the glasses and cups.

And of course, him escorting her to her house in the night became a habit. They didn't talk a lot, but Emma always had that feeling that he wanted to apologize once again for his words about her being an orphan.

One morning, after Killian had left the pub to go surf for some hours, Emma unconsciously let her stare drift toward his form, bare chest and wet skin, dancing along the waves with the surfboard. He was so free. "Sooooo," she heard Ruby's voice in ear, and a arm wrapping around her shoulders. "What's going on between Killian and you?" She asked, both her eyebrows raised and a knowing look upon her face, her mouth curving into a teasing smirk.

"Nothing." She answered...a bit too fast.

"Of course not. He is just devouring you with the eyes and..." her mouth was now very, very close from Emma's ear, "you're actually drooling."

Emma jumped on her feet and ran her arm against her mouth. And there obviously wasn't slobber on her chin. "Ha_ ha_. Very funny, Ruby." She placed her hands to cover her eyes as her cheeks flushed. "God, I'm so pathetic."

Ruby turned her around so she could face her. "Listen to me, young lady. Yes, you've been hurt a lot, and God knows how much I'd like to make that bastard you once knew suffer like a bitch, but you have to stop living in the past, Em. Killian really likes you – he constantly is looking at you – don't deny it or your cheeks will turn even more red."

Emma sighed and rubbed her forehead. "It's just... it's too soon... too fast..." She whimpered in a weak voice.

"Tsss," Ruby put a finger on her lips, "it's been 10 years Emma. _10 years_. Do you hear me? You deserve happiness. You deserve all the happiness." She said in a serious tone that was contrasting with her usual teasing voice. "And, you need to get laid." _Of course it would come back quickly_. After a silent moment, she added, in a much serious and quiet voice. "Listen, Emma. I can't force you to do anything, especially since you act by instinct and your instinct is currently telling you that this is happening too fast. But you should really try to consider it. I mean, you've suffered enough and he likes you. He _truly_ likes you."

And with that, Ruby was gone, a tray in hands. Emma took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She definitely needed to work, so she could focus on something else.

She didn't see Killian a lot this day, he was enjoying the sea too much to come to the pub. But she practically ran to him when he finally took a chair at the terrace and waited for someone to come. "Hi love, how you doing?"

"I'm fine. You?" She responded, smiling at him and he grinned back.

"Grant! The waves were awesome. Too bad you weren't with me, you'd have loved it." His eyes were so piercing she felt the redness spreading on her cheeks and in all her body. "Another time, perhaps."

"Perhaps." She repeated, her cheeks burning. "What do you want to drink?"

"What do you want to serve me?"

"I don't know, an Irish Encounter?" She knew it was his favorite, he probably ordered one once a day.

"Nah, not today. Just... a Guinness please." He ran his fingers along the scruff of chin, and she started to walk away. But then, she turned around, as he spoke again. "By the way, Swan, if you see that damn blonde waitress with the green eyes, could you ask her to join me when she gets her break?" His usual half-smile half-smirk widened on his face.

"I'll see what I can do. No promise she agrees though." She winked at him; she was actually flirting back._ The irony!_

She joined him a few minutes later, and handed him his glass. He greedily took it and began to sip, and then put it on the table. "So, why did you want the blondie to join you?" She asked, but she was already pretty certain of the answer.

"Perhaps I just liked her company." He admitted, his eyes on hers and Emma sustained the eye contact, but she felt chills ran along her spine, and her eyelashes fluttered. "There was actually a question I wanted to ask you, Swan. You don't have to answer though. I know it's difficult for you to talk about it." He started and Emma furrows her brows. He cleared his throat, and his eyes were filled with care and something else, but Emma didn't want to get false hope, so she shook her head and waited for him to speak. "Have you ever been in love?"

She closed her eyes, computing the question she dreaded the most, because it was the worst part of her life and she had those walls and she was supposed not to let someone in. She bit her bottom lip and lowered her gaze, staring at her hands, which were squeezing each other. "Perhaps I was... once." Her eyes flickered back to his. All she saw in his two blue orbs warmed her heart, and helped her feel comfortable, even though she had just let another glimpse of her past life through her walls.

He remained quiet, but there was a mutual understanding. He wouldn't push further the subject. And that's what was so great about Killian, now that she thought about it. Except this one time he had told her about her being an orphan, he always knew when to stop talking.

_You're falling far too fast, Emma._

"I gotta go. Break's over." She lifted up and went back inside, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

***

"Shall we, Swan?" was the next sentence she heard his voice say. It was late and dark and he was – as usual – inviting her to follow his lead outside the pub. She ignored Ruby's and Graham's knowing looks as she embraced the cold breeze of the night. The moon was high in the sky and its weak glow was the only light in the street.

"Why did you ask me that question earlier?" She broke the silence and he seemed a bit taken aback by her words at first.

Then she felt him relax a bit, but she could tell he was still a bit uneasy. "I just... I don't know. I think it's strange that someone like you Emma, and by 'like you' I mean as beautiful and strong as you are, doesn't have an active love life."

"Well, as you said a few days earlier, my silence is often off-putting. And I think you know why. You read me too well not to understand the reason why I'm better on my own." Emma quickened her pace and he followed, matching the rhythm.

"What's his name?" He genuinely asked, concern pouring in his eyes.

Emma's heartbeat became more and more frenzied and she increased the speed again; she was running away. As usual. That was too hard. She was falling too fast and she knew it. But at the same time, it was Killian that was chasing after her. Killian, the Irish guy she had met not so long ago, and who was constantly trying to crash her walls down. "Neal." She said in a broken whisper, shivering like a leaf as she stood there, still and unable to move.

It's been 10 years. _10 fucking years in hell_, and she was barely getting over it. That was what she had decided this summer. She would get over it. She would forget. And that was why she didn't want to have anything to do with guys.

But then, Killian had come, and he was turning her world upside down.

Too fast.

_Too fast._

But as usual when you keep falling, there is nothing you can hold onto.

Her friend – because yes, she could definitely call Killian her friend now – was hesitant; he didn't know if he should touch her, because he knew she was aware of his presence. But seeing her so desperate made his own heart fall apart, and he didn't even think: he stepped toward her and wrapped his strong arms around her trembling form. Tightly.

"I'm not like this bastard Emma." He breathed out, his mouth against her earlobe as his heat invaded her and she melted into his embrace. She remembered their previous hug, underwater, when they had fallen off the surfboard and into the water. But this one, in the middle of the street, in front of her apartment, was intoxicating and Emma felt herself burn off. "I would never leave you."

Emma smiled to herself. Of course he knew – as an orphan – that her biggest fear was to be left behind, once again. Of course he was able to say the exact word that would make her fall further and faster.

_Of course she knew he was sincere._

She pulled away, even just a little, so she could look him in the eyes. He was looking at her in a way she had never seen before. There were hints of adoration, awe, concern and sincerity. His face was mostly hidden by the shadows of the street, but his eyes were glowing, so blue, so full of emotions, so piercing.

He was not inside her walls, she had not let him in completely yet, but maybe he was worth it. Maybe he was her second chance, despite her attempts to fight it after their first encounter. Maybe she should listen to her instinct, just like Ruby told her to.

And her instinct made her realize that she desperately wanted to kiss the man in front of her.

_And then, her lips went crashing onto his._

* * *

**Okay, new story guys!  
I couldn't keep it out of my mind, so here you go!**

**Review? :)**


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